Why are you saying sorry? I'm the idiot that fell for a trap.

[ though she said she wouldn't apologize for what she did, she does feel the need to do so lodged in her throat. though she can feel richard shifting in the bed, her only response is to try and make herself smaller. perhaps, if she makes herself small enough, she'll simply disappear.

maybe it'd be better that way. it would make siffrin and siobhan happy both, at least.

but then would that not be spitting in the face of the kindness and forgiveness that everyone in the primrose villa gave them? it's such a selfish way of thinking, and ayaka is quickly disgusted with herself for having even considered it. really, she doesn't deserve any of this kindness.

after a few shuddering breaths, ayaka lowers her hands from her head, though still keeping them close to her chest. ]

I should be the one thanking you... so thanks. For helping me. [ she laughs softly, though there's nothing but self-deprecating bitterness in it. ] It hurt a lot more than I thought it would.

[ mostly because she hadn't been thinking at all in the first place. ]