[ ayaka responds with silence, as she finds herself unable to disagree. she kept her composure for as long as she could so that he could live with the frustration of not having knocked her down. the pain on her shoulder when they pulled the knife out had been hot and sharp, different from the crushing feeling on her chest that she would get whenever the guilt became overwhelming.
she could handle one or the other. she did her best to withstand both of them when she was in front of everyone, and even now with saber, but... ]
I'm so tired, Saber.
[ it's an exhaustion that goes beyond her physical state. four weeks of this has worn at ayaka's mind, stretching her thinner and thinner with each day. how much will it take until she snaps under the weight? she knows that she shouldn't be complaining, that saber and others have had it far worse than her but... she's so exhausted. she wishes that she didn't feel this anger towards siffrin and siobhan. she wishes that she didn't have to live every day with guilt and fear sticking to her like a shadow.
really, if she didn't have to care anymore, it would be so much easier. ]
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[ ayaka responds with silence, as she finds herself unable to disagree. she kept her composure for as long as she could so that he could live with the frustration of not having knocked her down. the pain on her shoulder when they pulled the knife out had been hot and sharp, different from the crushing feeling on her chest that she would get whenever the guilt became overwhelming.
she could handle one or the other. she did her best to withstand both of them when she was in front of everyone, and even now with saber, but... ]
I'm so tired, Saber.
[ it's an exhaustion that goes beyond her physical state. four weeks of this has worn at ayaka's mind, stretching her thinner and thinner with each day. how much will it take until she snaps under the weight? she knows that she shouldn't be complaining, that saber and others have had it far worse than her but... she's so exhausted. she wishes that she didn't feel this anger towards siffrin and siobhan. she wishes that she didn't have to live every day with guilt and fear sticking to her like a shadow.
really, if she didn't have to care anymore, it would be so much easier. ]