[ Yeah, that might be on the list, honestly...........
He adjusts his posture slightly, his hand idly falling onto the sword on his hip as Siffrin asks him why he's actually here. ]
Moreso the former, if you're all right with it. I can understand how any sort of platitudes would feel hollow, with all that's occurred.
[ Any sort of attempts to make them feel better sort of feel like they'd come off as patronizing, to him. After all, are they not the one who's burdened with the punishment for the group not figuring things out? Why should he get to feel better about it? ]
I'm fine with it. And... I don't mind them, I guess. I'm not really mad they voted for me anyway. More the one who didn't speak up.
[ It's probably strange to hear, but. Siffrin just doesn't have it in themselves to be mad about it. It could've happened last week. It just happened to happen this one.
(You do note the idle gesture. You wonder if it's a swordsman thing. Never really watched Cain to see.) ]
I was the best lead. [ Pulling up their sleeves, the bruising still present. ] I can't blame them for not believing me, even if I had others to vouch.
[ Isn't like it's a secret that Siffrin is fairly good friends with both G'raha and Cain, at the very least. ]
[ It's not strange in the slightest. He'd be the same exact way, in Siffrin's place, though maybe not quite the back half about being mad at whoever did or didn't speak up.
If it was Ayaka here, then...
Richard's gaze goes down to the bruising he'd already checked, for a brief second, before meeting their gaze again. ] Did none of the three of you receive that healing spray that was given out?
[ He can't remember who said that they got it. There was a lot going on. ]
[ ... Well. They cast their gaze aside, tugging at their sleeves again. ]
... When I had the chance, when Cain was sleeping after everything... I ran away. I didn't want to see any of them. So even if one of the others might've had it, I wouldn't have taken it.
[ Couldn't have, really. Cowardice about seeing their expressions in full. ]
... I was scared to see their faces. How they might look at me. Cain and G'raha... are important to me, they're my friends, and blades are meant to protect others. Protect the people you care about.
[ So stabbing Cain was the opposite of that, even if he understood in the end. At the time... It was frightening. ]
I've never hurt a friend before. Even if I was angry, or hurt, my first thought wouldn't be to lash out at them, but at myself.
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bellelurette pc: siffrin
no subject
He adjusts his posture slightly, his hand idly falling onto the sword on his hip as Siffrin asks him why he's actually here. ]
Moreso the former, if you're all right with it. I can understand how any sort of platitudes would feel hollow, with all that's occurred.
[ Any sort of attempts to make them feel better sort of feel like they'd come off as patronizing, to him. After all, are they not the one who's burdened with the punishment for the group not figuring things out? Why should he get to feel better about it? ]
no subject
[ It's probably strange to hear, but. Siffrin just doesn't have it in themselves to be mad about it. It could've happened last week. It just happened to happen this one.
(You do note the idle gesture. You wonder if it's a swordsman thing. Never really watched Cain to see.) ]
I was the best lead. [ Pulling up their sleeves, the bruising still present. ] I can't blame them for not believing me, even if I had others to vouch.
[ Isn't like it's a secret that Siffrin is fairly good friends with both G'raha and Cain, at the very least. ]
no subject
If it was Ayaka here, then...
Richard's gaze goes down to the bruising he'd already checked, for a brief second, before meeting their gaze again. ] Did none of the three of you receive that healing spray that was given out?
[ He can't remember who said that they got it. There was a lot going on. ]
no subject
[ ... Well. They cast their gaze aside, tugging at their sleeves again. ]
... When I had the chance, when Cain was sleeping after everything... I ran away. I didn't want to see any of them. So even if one of the others might've had it, I wouldn't have taken it.
[ Couldn't have, really. Cowardice about seeing their expressions in full. ]
no subject
May I ask why?
cw self harm implication
What's it matter now anyway. ]
... I was scared to see their faces. How they might look at me. Cain and G'raha... are important to me, they're my friends, and blades are meant to protect others. Protect the people you care about.
[ So stabbing Cain was the opposite of that, even if he understood in the end. At the time... It was frightening. ]
I've never hurt a friend before. Even if I was angry, or hurt, my first thought wouldn't be to lash out at them, but at myself.
no subject
It's better for you to receive the consequences of those sins then let others shoulder that burden, right?
[ Not saying it like a fact, just. An observation. ]
no subject
... I've kinda gotten used to it. You know, looping and all.
no subject
no subject
[ Not... a tremendous amount, but. All the same -- sixty to seventy, over and over again. ]
I stopped paying attention, or I lost count... They blur together sometimes too. But I think it's that.
no subject
I can't imagine what kind of a strain that puts on one's self.
no subject
[ (Do you?
Or do you just not... care, anymore.
...
You're used to it.) ]
It's been kind of a relief here. A week instead of two days. And everyone remembers, too.
[ (That
more than anything
makes you happy.) ]